Girl power

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” Confident inside and out!

Raising strong, confident women is a goal for nearly all girl moms and guardians, but it takes dedication.

Tips for raising confident daughters

Vivian Pinner, MEd, a mom and health and well-being specialist with Baptist Health, has years of professional expertise in adolescent difficulties. She said many preadolescent girls are carefree, confident, creative and strong until middle school. However, when social pressures and puberty occur, many young women start to struggle with confidence.

“There are steps we can take as parents to encourage daughters to be confident and strong,” said Pinner.

1. Allow challenges as a tool for growth.

“When your daughter does face a hardship, help her know she’s resilient enough to get through tough situations,” said Pinner. “Say to her, ‘You’re strong. Let’s figure this out together.’”

Parents can always point back to this in the future.

“Remind her of a time she overcame a difficult situation in the past,” said Pinner. “Through adversity comes strength.”

2. Compliment her positive actions.

If you notice a positive or kind action, tell her! Pinner reminded us that these can be small moments throughout the day. For example, say, “I like how you just spoke to your brother,” or “Thank you for cleaning your room. Great attention to detail!”

3. Be a confident role model.

Young people are highly influenced by those they spend time with, especially their parents. Moms, if you want to raise a confident daughter, be kind to yourself and eliminate negative talk.

“For example, if you forget something at the grocery store, it’s easy to say, ‘Wow, I’m so dumb. I can’t believe I forgot that,’” said Pinner. “But you wouldn’t want your daughter to talk to herself that way.”

This relates to body image, too.

“You wouldn’t tell your daughter she’s ugly or overweight, so don’t say it to yourself,” said Pinner. “She will talk to herself the way you talk to yourself.”

4. Encourage her areas of talent.

If your daughter loves running, recommend she try track or cross country for a semester. If she’s creative, help her find art or music classes in your area.

“When girls feel positive and proud of something they do, they feel confident,” said Pinner.

5. Be intentional about surrounding her with positive people.

Young women need to be surrounded by other confident women they can admire and emulate, whether it’s a friend’s mother, grandmother, coach or dance instructor.

“Be intentional about introducing her to positive role models,” said Pinner. “Also, don’t be afraid to dial out negative influences.”

6. Teach her how to solve problems.

We don’t want our children to get hurt or feel rejected by “the cool kids” at school. But it happens.

“Be there for your daughter and help her through it,” said Pinner. “If she’s left out of a group of people, talk to her about who is a good friend and has the qualities of a good friend. Encourage her to spend time with those who are kind, inclusive and honest.”

7. Take care of yourself.

Moms, you’re busy, and you’re always helping others. Taking time to recharge will give you the energy to parent well. Being the best for your “mini-me” means taking care of yourself, too!

8. Don’t hesitate to get outside help for your daughter or yourself.

“It’s normal to be concerned about your daughter’s happiness,” said Pinner. “Don’t be afraid to get outside help, especially if you notice her avoiding social interaction, oversleeping, not enjoying the things she once enjoyed, or talking about self-harm.”

Confident moms raise confident daughters (and sons, too!). You’ve got this.