Baby boundaries

Julia Garrett, PsyD, is a psychologist with Baptist Behavioral Health who specializes in maternal mental health.

Pregnancy can already be challenging, but experiencing pregnancy and life with a newborn during COVID-19 can be somewhat scary. There are ways to cope to make your journey go smoothly.

First, give yourself permission to have feelings of frustration and sadness about your pregnancy and postpartum experience during a pandemic. It may feel unfair that you won't get the baby shower you had imagined. It might be disappointing that grandparents are unable to meet their grandchild, or that older children might not be able to visit baby in the hospital.

Once you’ve given yourself permission to acknowledge those emotions, focus on what you can do and what you have some control over. For a lot of couples, managing expectations about how others can interact with a new baby can be stressful, COVID or not.

Baby boundaries before birth

One way to make the process a little easier is to create a plan you can communicate with family and friends in advance. I recommend to:

• Have a conversation with your partner or support person about what feels comfortable regarding visitors. Pick a time to have this discussion when things are relatively calm and stress-free.
• Consider how you will utilize technology and creativity at home for baby meet-and-greets (a front-porch infant introduction, for example).
• Consider ways people can support you from a distance – think food drop-offs and diaper deliveries.

Once you have your plan, communicate it to family and friends in a clear, concise and kind manner, and emphasize the plan is for their health and the baby’s.

Delivering during a pandemic

Leading up to your due date, make sure you are aware of safety precautions in place at the hospital, OB and pediatrician’s offices. Things to look into include:

• How many visitors are permitted?
• Is video-conferencing through platforms like FaceTime allowed?

Always be aware that things may change, so while planning is important, so is flexibility.

It’s crucial for new and expecting mothers to continue to find ways to ensure they are well-supported and well-cared for during this difficult time. Baptist Behavioral Health now offers virtual counseling and has experts who specialize in maternal mental health. For an appointment, call 904.376.3800.